Your Crap Makes My Flower Grow!

Sorry for the crass opening :D, this isn’t a rant. Last night before I laid my head down I noticed a forum post in AJATT+ about negative forums and what not, and our general happiness with the community there. It was fun, though semi rant filled since really, you gotta let it out once and a while.  Of course the general theme was why do hater’s gotta hate. However when I laid my head down that night in rather pleasant can’t touch this happiness, I didn’t know that soon I would experience a very hurtful discouragement the very next day.

Everyone can’t like everyone, and people wont understand people all the time. We all make what we consider logical decisions and actions based on the way we think and feel, so it makes sense that if someone thinks and feels differently they wont make the same decision or action and wont understand yours all the time. Usually a fair amount of people accept this and try to understand each other, or at the very least say ‘well that’s you and this is me’ type statements.

However, once and a while, some people just can’t let you go thinking anything that isn’t unanimous with their thoughts. Generally these are the haters. They’re the type who generally discourage, are full of pride and pompous actions, and in the end make us wanna pull our hair out.

I think dealing with these people takes skill. The more you get it, the more skill you can enhance too. These people are my fuel, my fire, my fertilizer for my dreams.

I tend to go through stages. Depression first. When I find out someone thinks I’m blankity blank, I take it personally. For some reason, I just care, and there is nothing I can do about it. They can be a random person in the world who means nothing to me, but they’ll still hurt me. Sometimes depression does take me over and discouragement just begins to weigh me down. Luckily I don’t stick there too often. I’m quick to my second stage. Anger! Yah buddies, I’m a hulk hulgan type of person. You don’t wanna see me angry, but when I do get angry, it tends to be loud and apparently shirt tearing.

During my anger I tend to attack them in my head. I call em names, I mock them, I smack em up (in my head mind you). I generally am stewing by this point and then it morphs beautifully into this sort of acceptance. Acceptance is just merely me acknowledging the “so what they think this way” idea. I know right, silly me. But really I usually simultaneously realize when they’re saying ‘you’re a blankity blank’ is just transference of ‘I’m a blankity blank”, “i couldn’t do blankity blank, so neither can you.”. Once I realize that, once that acceptance is over, I pop into the last and final stage. The stage of:

“I’ll show you, blank!” stage. Yes. I’m addicted to people like this. This twisted bizarre mood roll ends with me being pumped higher than ever. Come adversity come! Let me show you just how pimp I am! I’ll make you look weak and feeble! hahaha! I’m usually that strange woman standing in the middle of the road with my fists in the air, hooting, telling them to Bring It! its like that boss you just refuse to like, you hate their guts, because they’re on you constantly telling you to do something better, pushing you to excel. You just Love to Hate them! But I just Love them, while I hate them too. They bring out the best in me, always, because of my I’ll show you stage. I might cry as they yell at me. Sure (because I’m sensitive), and then I might sneer, because I’m angry and hulky. But in the end, I’m performing better than ever because I refuse to let them have the last laugh.

Some might feel this is bad, but its me. haha! Its how I deal with negative naysayers who try to stomp on my flowers. How do you handle it? Comments below!

5 Responses to “Your Crap Makes My Flower Grow!”
  1. Hashiriya says:

    I’ve been discouraged so much in the past that I am numb to it all now :). I know my plan, I know my goal, and I know if I continue that one day I will reach it. I am currently in Japan now for the summer and I can see already how much I’ve been studying in the past is paying off. I know that my goal is still a few years more in the distance. (mainly because other college classes eat up my Japanese time) If you ever get discouraged to the point you feel that you can’t continue, I encourage you to try to come to Japan for a visit. My flame for the language was burning low for awhile and now it’s burning brighter than ever 🙂

    • mikotoneko says:

      Its great to hear from you Hashiriya! How’ve you been? How far in school are you now? I have waited patiently I must say to visit Japan now, however I think it is a reality for me soon enough. Thank you for your comment, and I hope to hear from you again!

  2. kuma says:

    boy, do i understand those tribulations.

    i think you and i are a lot the same, mikoto-chan. you probably know that already, though.

    inspiring post! i myself am currently in a “show you how pimp i am” mood. i want to rock some shit and dock some boats. i want all y’all peeps to know my wrath of khan.

    all in all though, most stuff rolls off my back. i tend to stay depressed pretty long, but i use that as fuel, too. it’s all about what you can use to fuel your ambitions, i think.

    rock and stay rocked —

  3. Daniel says:

    You must be like me then–the more someone says I can’t do something, the more I want to do it!

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  • Read More or Die! 2011

    _2011 End Results_
    Total read for Tadoku:
    __433.3 pages!__
    Placement: 115/188
    October 2011 Contest:
    Placement: 97/120
    End Tally: 59.2
    July 2011 Contest:
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    End Tally: 195.6
    April 2011 Contest:
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    End Tally: 154.5
    January 2011 Contest:
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    End Tally: 24
    August 2010 Contest:
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    End Tally: 160

  • Read Or Die 2013

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    March 2-Week:
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    Goal: 250
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