Experiments: Vampire Language P2

You too can speak from day 1!

PS: But only if you believe in yourself

It sounds too good to be true, that in three months you could learn a language to fluencyishness and keep doing this. It does sound toooooo good but truth is, people are doing it. Not just Benny, but a good handful of polyglots. I got to thinking when I stumbled on his blog long ago about it, but sorta pushed it to the side, since I wanted to learn a language a bit deeper. That being my love, Japanese. But honestly speaking, My original goal was to learn about 7ish langauges to conversational fluency and high schoolish reading levels. So what happened? Why’d I get all caught up on Japanese? Well, it was my first language that I tried to tackle on my own. It was my first love. It was ‘special’. But when I just happened to stumble upon one of his youtube videos, ‘Skype me Maybe’ something got inside me. I got some sort of burning polyglot desire again that I had lost somewhere along the way and began to think more about multi languages and not just the ONE other language.

And thus began the epic research journey for me. Now, when I say epic, I mean EPIC. It consumes me when I get lost in research. For almost 2 entire week, I pretty much had abandoned everything. Okay, I still ate and fed my daughter and made sure we didn’t stink, but otherwise, all free available time was spent scouring websites, watching videos, until my head was so full of things it exploded. I began to question myself, what I was doing, what’s really language learning. I can’t say I had any original epiphanies that others don’t have, but inside some switch flipped.

I decided that I couldn’t look at Japanese the way I was anymore. I wanted to try out what I was thinking on something brand new. As I discussed in the last post, that was Esperanto.

I didn’t originally expect what happened to me when I started Esperanto either, but going in, I wasn’t delusional about myself either, at least, I thought. See self perception is one of the most notoriously messed up things we got. We all get these ideas, good and bad, about ourselves to create our sort of self image, but in reality its nothing like what we really are. Only when we put things on the line and stretch ourselves can we find more about ourselves, and our true tenancies and personality. Anyhow, that aside, I found out a bit about myself, and just what I was doing.

I also noticed another thing. When I first started learning Japanese, I was in the throws of depression. The truth of it is, I had problems with my thoughts. They were very negative, defeatism, and honestly, I beat myself up constantly over not being a top performer, being perfect in language acquisition, or whatever else have you. But now, I’ve been working my butt off on positive thinking, jedi mind tricks that allow me to stop negative spiral attitudes and push myself back into a better position. I hadn’t stopped to think that my original approach on Japanese was skewed by that either. In fact, It dawned on me that I didn’t think i could learn Japanese!

SAY WHAT?!

When I sat down as it hit me, like mega boom style, I was utterly shocked at myself. I mean, can you imagine yourself working towards some goal you actually don’t think you can do? I still can’t even wrap my head around that. What was I thinking?! How’d I even go as far as I did?! No wonder I struggled with motivation, beat myself up relentlessly in my head. I don’t even know why, I mean, look at this blog even. It was made to help others learn too, well actually just a few of my friends that kept asking me what I was currently doing and such, but still, I was trying to help motivate others when I didn’t believe in myself. Then I found out that a lot of people are like this. There is a scene in Supernatural (yes Panda finally got me to watch this on Netflix

(From Panda, with love)

) when Sam and this guy in the end of season 2 are having this sorta last man standing gladiator thing going down. Sam tells the other dude that he doesn’t think they’re all going to make it out alive, and the other dude says it doesn’t matter, as long as the others do. I had somehow adopted that mentality. Others can learn it, but not me.

Why?

If you think epic research happened on the internet, well then epic research happened inward. I double whammeyed myself into another obsessive train of thoughts that lead to another week holed up thinking about myself and my brain, and what the hell I was doing. As you can imagine, this sort of tossed my original goals out the window, in fact, it made thinking about anything that I had before viable, as I was stuck in this inner turmoil that was just a raging about.

So I’d love to say I turned into some brand new person but the truth is, this actually because less of a surprise the more I thought about it. I didn’t want to stay stuck in this thought, so what I decided to do, was listen to the positive. I’ve obviously come a long way, and reading and listening to positive people can keep that going. I started reading more and watching more of Benny, Moses, and other well known polyglots and I noticed a trend. They’re all really positive! Sure they experience negative things, and have feelings like frustration and discouragement, but they also have overabundance of positiveness. Almost to the point of a insanity! I mean, they’re so positive they refuse to even entertain thoughts that are not in anyways positive and leading to direct language learning.

There was a really funny interview even that Benny did in Mandarin Chinese. The whole time the interviewer is trying to get Benny to talk about languages in a semi negative fashion and Benny just refuses it. And says something almost magical to me. I’ll show you below.

If you don’t feel like watching the whole thing, here is what I took from it at about 2:30 to 2:50 shortened in English, as I don’t speak Chinese!

<Interviewer> “But you can still talk about your feelings. Its just like watching movies….you can say whatever you want.”

<Benny> “Yeah yeah, you can you can. But I don’t think that helps in any way.”

He goes on to make many good points, but when he said that, it really hit me home. I love to compare and contrast and what not, but I realized, all this time spent doing that, thinking anything at all really negative or whatever have you isn’t going to help. Now, I think making connections is helpful in the long run sense of things, but sitting around thinking about things like hard or easy, fast or slow, takes away from learning. Every moment spent thinking something might not happen in a moment one can spend thinking about making it happen. And not just thinking, but doing. Making it happen.

I also noticed another Bennisim in the comment section: “A language deserves no respect whatsoever; PEOPLE do.” But that’s a whole other can of fishes to talk about.

Anyhow, So, before the Experiment could even start, I ran into all these delicious goodies of thoughts that had to be addressed. i don’t want to bore you much more with personal inward drama (well unless you’re a masochist 😛 ), but needless to say, this is a new chapter in thinking about myself that I’m still exploring and ‘fixing’ so to speak.

Stay tuned for actual information about Fluent in Three Months and not just my self discoveries.

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  • Read More or Die! 2011

    _2011 End Results_
    Total read for Tadoku:
    __433.3 pages!__
    Placement: 115/188
    ___________________
    October 2011 Contest:
    Placement: 97/120
    End Tally: 59.2
    ___________________
    July 2011 Contest:
    Placement: 86/142
    End Tally: 195.6
    ___________________
    April 2011 Contest:
    Placement: 62/106
    End Tally: 154.5
    ___________________
    January 2011 Contest:
    Placement: 84/99
    End Tally: 24
    ___________________
    August 2010 Contest:
    Placement: 20/41
    End Tally: 160

  • Read Or Die 2013

    **************
    June:
    Goal: 600
    Total: 906.26
    blew my goal outta the water!

    **************
    March 2-Week:
    Goal: 125
    Total:302.75

    **************
    January:
    Goal: 250
    Total: 314

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